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GASP!! THEY ACTUALLY FIXED THE GC-CONTROLLER SMASH STICK PROBLEM IN THE LATEST SWITCH UPDATE??!!??!

I'm assuming the balance patch will be disappointing as usual, with only a minimal of few things being adressed, just like in the Banjo & Kazooie patch... Will be happily proven wrong though.

If you are struggling to find a main, then do this: 1) Pick Hero. 2) Pick the characters that you potentially want to main. 3) Give everyone 60% as damage handicap. 4) Group the characters together on a random stage, preferably Battlefield. 5) Use Thwack (and NOT Whack!) on everybody (it's important that the Thwack hits everone at the same time - if you have many characters, then pick a platform stage and place the characters on the platform and under it) until one of them is the last one standing. (If there's a tie, then repeat the process.)

Congratulations! You have now a dedicated main! Entirely based on natural sel... err I mean RNG!

Think that's it? No. If you are happy with the outcome, you just found yourself a main. If not, then that character is definitely not your main - discard it and repeat the process!

... Or, y'know, you could just tier wh*re like everyone else and pick Palutena.

Oh my goodness. Sabi is rumoring about a new Paper Mario game for the Switch that will be like the first two Paper Mario games and will be revealed at the next Nintendo direct.

Now's the time to finally have Paper Mario in Smash? I really hope he's in FP2. Please Nintendo! Please!

I'm nervous.

Where's the patch notes though??!!?!??

Hero sucks.

My body is ready.

My guess for the 5 DLC characters are...

- Bandana Waddle Dee
- Paper Mario
- Elma
- Steve (Minecraft)
- Square Enix character (presumably Geno)