Dogs who look like their owners. Spouses that look like siblings. Astrological signs and your daily outlook. Things which normally have nothing in common begin to look alike given enough time and association. So what does that say about our Smash mains?
"Enough prattle! I main my character because [insert reason], and my main alone is the most noble of mains while all the rest of the cast is for low-tier weeaboos!" you say. Yeah, well the thing about horoscopes, (like awful nicknames in high school) is that you never get to choose your own. So sit back and enjoy these most terrible horoscopes - What awful implications are upon you for your choice of main character? Let's find out!
You are a big friendly dope who doesn't know their own strength. This causes you to break a lot of things and people which confuses you because you don't see yourself as all that menacing. You don't have enemies - just rivals you haven't yet 'persuaded' to become friends!
You own a threadbare anime body pillow, but you don't sleep with it because 'it just doesn't feel the same' anymore. Life changes, get used to it. You spend an inordinate amount of time sitting in your room posing in front of the mirror.
You're a bit on the heavy side but, like a bear, you are difficult to fool and you also poop outdoors. You never pronounce 'Bowser'; it's always 'Boozer' or 'Bosser' or something dumb like that. You had a fling with some princess a while back and it may be possible you have some kids running around somewhere.
You're a hoarder. You keep every toy, trinket, and tool you find because it 'might be useful someday'. You are also a terrible driver and have crashed your parents' vehicle at least once.
You go around thinking you're pretty awesome because you have all the coolest new toys, but what you really want is to be able to connect with people.
You were a jock in high school, went to a state college where you peaked, now you grow cannabis in your closet while reliving the glory days.
You never actually played FFVII because it came out before you were born. You know what Cloud is saying in Japanese. So does everyone else, but you're the only one in your school who points it out every time.
Let's be honest here: you don't know what to do with your life. You used to be on top of the world due to your natural gifts - but you didn't have to try very hard and now you've woken up 5 years later to find you're just average.
You like flinging crap just to annoy others, both figuratively and literally.
You don't care if others think you're big, ugly, or clumsy; you've got brute strength and you're surprisingly resistant to soap.
You enjoy making others suffer, but you can't handle when others put you down.
You have lots of hobbies, interests, and friends, but none of them really complement each other and you're not particularly adept at any one thing.
Your fursona is a bird.
Your fursona is a mammal.
Your personality is basically that of a 1-year old German Shepherd puppy: You're big, fast, powerful, and you have no idea what to do with yourself or why everyone is yelling at you but you're having a great time! Oh Boy!
You were that kid who did the Naruto run everywhere you went Freshman year of high school.
You are thoughtful though indecisive to a fault. You don't know what you want to be when you grow up, but you know you don't really belong in this town.
You married your high school sweetheart and you're morbidly codependent. When you're away from your soulmate you're basically useless.
You're loyal to your friends and have a strong sense of justice. You charge headfirst into any conflict, even if it means you know you'll get wrecked by it.
You can't keep your hands to yourself and that has led to some problems, hasn't it?
You have diagnosed ADHD. You're quick witted but you're all over the place. You make a mess wherever you go. Your mom forced the school to give you an IEP, 504, and regularly pesters your teachers about your missing assignments while letting you do whatever you want at home. Adulthood will hit you hard.
Nobody really knows who you are. You're a quiet introvert who tries to be like the other, more interesting kids, but for some reason nobody ever pays attention to you.
You can't let anything go. Ever. You will follow someone to the ends of the Earth (or the blast zone). You're the crazy ex.
You are hyper-focused and dedicated to a complete understanding of academic pursuits. However, you do have your limits and will resort to the easy-route when put under too much pressure. You used to main Sheik but you couldn't resist the allure of also having actual kill power. You don't have friends; you have accomplices.
You give exactly zero F's. You're going to do what you want, when you want, and if anyone has a problem then you'll give them something to complain about.
You give exactly 1 F: You're big, awkward, and asymmetrical, but you're nothing without your sense of style and far be it from anyone to put you down for it.
You're a leech - you copy personalities from those around you and pretend to be someone you aren't. On the rare occasion someone has the misfortune of seeing your true self, they're overwhelmed by your clingy nature.
You know a lot of neat party tricks to impress your friends, but you really want to impress that one girl and she's just not into you like that. #friendzoned
You're the definition of a try-hard. Nobody will question your work ethic or your dedication to what you do... Your life choices are a different story.
The more you get beat down, the harder you fight. You still listen to your emo albums and pine for the days when you were still new and relevant.
You've faced more tragedy than most people your age. Rather than let it crush you, you draw on that experience to crush your enemies. You're still outclassed by your peers, but it just drives you to work harder.
You're a younger sibling who feels like they need to act out to get the attention you think your older siblings get, but it just makes you come off as a skittish weirdo.
You're the over achiever who feels the need to perform and impress everyone around them. You're constantly seeking approval from everyone by trying every hat and activity you can find. Everyone knows you and respects you, but nobody ever seems to pay attention to the things you destroy and the people you hurt on your path to universal recognition.
You used to get excited for the interpretive dance segments of those dancing competition shows and you still sometimes practice in front of the mirror when absolutely nobody is watching. Your power animal is the majestic gazelle.
Everyone is embarrassed when they go with you to restaurants and bars for one single reason: you don't tip.
You keep everyone at a distance because you're afraid if they get close they might discover that you're actually just a soulless automaton; a big fake trying to pass themselves off as a person.
You're the kind of person who is hard on their friends, but only because you want to see them grow better and stronger, even if it means they will eventually surpass you.
You've been on a roller coaster ever since you were born: Rough childhood, but some natural talents pushed you to the front of your peers. Then your friends hit their stride and you never really stood out afterwards. At one point your buddies rented a big party bus to the city, but they forgot to invite you so you had to pay for an Uber to meet up with them.
You stay up late watching infomercials and local access broadcast TV. You buy off-brands of everything. You have a tab at the local thrift shop. For a while, you used to tell people that duct tape cosplay outfits were "kinda my thing".
You have a wide variety of interests that makes you seem like a complex, worldly individual, but in reality your experience and personality is 2-dimensional. You "win" online arguments with people who are actual experts in their fields by bombarding them with semi-relatable nonsense until they give up in frustration. Lucky number is, of course, 9.
Your endlessly cheerful demeanor conceals myriad dark and sinister secrets. On the outside you're a model citizen. On the inside you fantasize about all the exciting ways you can 'disassemble' those around you - especially your friends. You would never actually act on those feelings though, right?...
You rely exclusively on the abilities of others to get your work done for you, and cast them aside when they are no longer useful.
You've done some things, man... Look, we've ALL done some things, but, like... You've REALLY done some things. Seen lots of things. Like in the dark, there were these lights and stuff? And oh! there was that music from somewhere. Went like, 'do Do do do Do do do' or whatever. You know ghosts are real? Here, take this with me. Whatever you do, DON'T jump on the trampoline a 4th time!
You're a Mean Girl. You run your pack of B's and your friend zone of pathetic boys who see you as a goddess to do your biddings. Good for you.
You were popular in high school, and now you have a pretty respectable career. You love dressing up, but you have no problem rolling up your frilly sleeves and putting someone in their place. You're a Boss B, and nobody really even talks about all the nights you used to spend at sketchy house parties back in college.
You were some kid's first crush a long time ago, but then you moved to a different town - a quieter place where you got to explore and have fun outdoors. Some time later you moved back to civilization and while you do enjoy the finer things, you'll never lose your plucky, rough-and-tumble country attitude.
You are the Baby Yoda of the family. That's about it.
I guess that makes you the Yoda Yoda of the family. Small and adorable, but also wise and inexplicably ageless.
Your popularity comes solely from your association with your social group of like-minded copies. You're an NPC in someone else's life.
You bend over backwards for people you admire who don't appreciate you in return, but you're too hopeless and loyal to admit it to yourself. You and Link mains should seriously be friends.
You also bend over backwards for people who don't appreciate you in return. You're painfully aware of that fact but you redirect that resentment and self-loathing toward crushing those who would oppose you. You're probably brooding in your room and listening to Panic! at the Disco on your AirPods right now, aren't you?
You're a born leader and organizer, but you kinda have this thing where you like to make other people fight your battles for you, and you take all the credit. You'll be a good middle manager someday.
You don't care about winning. You don't even care if anyone else is having a good time. In fact, wouldn't it be awesome if everyone else was miserable and suffering right now? Yeah let's make that happen.
You don't 'get' why or how everyone else is having such a good time, but that doesn't mean you won't do your best to fit in! Is winning the objective? Is it about having fun? Eating? Puppies? Eating puppies? Who knows!? You'll just go along with what everyone else wants to do.
You're not quick-witted but you study a lot and that's made you really good at keeping people away from you.
You were an only child who coped with the desolate feelings of too much space by surrounding themselves with pretty things, stuffed animals, and loneliness.
You may have heard others describe you as a 'sweaty try-hard' on more than one occasion, but dude, you know they're just jealous of your SICK gains, bro. You push yourself past your limits, even when that limit is the blast zone. Pain is just weakness leaving the body and an SD is only -2 so TIME FOR THAT 3-STOCK COMEBACK LETS GOOOOOOO!
You've got some real talent over the others in your circle that only comes with age and experience, but you've also learned not to take yourself too seriously. You say 'whelp...' a lot while shrugging your shoulders. You consider the Dad Joke to be the pinnacle of human communication.
Work hard. Train hard. Play hard. Pain is Temporary, Pride is Forever. The only Easy Day was Yesterday. OOOORAH!
You got no problem sweeping the leg of a 12 year old. Did you hear the sound that kid's face made when it hit the mat? LOL! Let's go get some In-n-Out. I got some Natty Ice back at the dorm we can chill 'fore the Ultimate tourney later. Yeah, I meant Ultimate Frisbee, what did you mean?
You were the kid who liked setting up intricate games and obstacle courses for your friends, but you'd take so long explaining the rules that everyone got bored and moved on before the game even started. You are destined to become a teacher someday.
You also liked setting up games for your friends, but the games you made frequently consisted of 'eat this thing I found' or 'I dare you to breathe underwater'. People have learned not to play 'Truth or Dare' with you out of self preservation.
You come off as aggressive on the outside, but inside you know that you're REALLY aggressive and you just wish everyone else could see this inner side of you, if only they weren't so busy rubbing the sand out of their eyes that you threw at them.
You enjoy trying new things just to see what its like which sometimes gets you into trouble, but sometimes gives a good result. Every so often you'll take your shirt off for no real reason.
You're a Libra. That's it.
Even though you swore you'd never be like your Boomer parents, you're exactly like your Boomer parents. You kinda hate that about yourself, but you respect them, so it's not all that bad.
You're a prankster. A class clown. You watched Home Alone as a kid and tried to do the blowtorch thing with the door handle and nearly burned your parents' house down. You were partly the reason they had to put warning labels on bath mats.
You wear sweatpants because jeans are 'too restricting'. You challenge people to races in mundane activities. You often overshoot your goals and waste a ton of effort trying to get back to where you're supposed to be, but most people don't notice because at least you're quick about it.
You intentionally put yourself in sketchy situations not because you're looking for trouble, but you genuinely enjoy the thrill of the fight: You're quick to the punch, but you're usually willing to lend your opponent a hand back up for Round 2. You make a really great wingman. This one time you were out and saw a Wario main picking up on someone questionable and was about to ask, "are you OK?" but thought better of it. I wonder what happened with those two?
You hang out with an older crowd which is exciting, but sometimes makes for awkward exchanges. Like when they're reminiscing over classic games and they bring up playing Legend of Zelda on the Nintendo, and you try to relate with, "Oh yeah, my uncle had an N64. I LOVED Ocarina of Time!" and everyone else just chuckles condescendingly at your innocence.
You would think that you and Ness mains would get along great with each other... If only you weren't desperately trying to sabotage one another because you know its only a matter of time before they reveal your dark secrets to the world.
You're the reckless but fun uncle/aunt. You buy your neices/nephews inappropriate gifts like pocket knives and alcohol. You regale them with stories of drunken bar brawls and that one time in Tuscon when you went home with the wrong gender of Robin but, "It ended up being the wildest night of my life" and you remind them never to judge a book by the cover.
You hobbies include doing Cross Fit and telling people you do Cross Fit. You describe yourself as "spiritual, but not religious". You have your own personal "Wellness Coach". Or at least your tell yourself you're going to do all these things right after the New Year drops in 6 months while you're currently halfway to making your medium pizza a personal size.
You think fursonas are stupid and you aggressively try to convince anyone who will listen that the fur tail you bought at the Ren Faire is just a historically accurate prop and that they're stupid for trying to shoehorn your unique and complex identity into some undignified animal cosplay.
The only people who understand you are other Yoshi mains because to everyone else you are, like Yoshi, completely unreadable.
You're a middle child who feels the need to take things more seriously than your younger siblings, while avoiding the pathetic mistakes of your older ones. You're very competent at what you do, but its difficult for you to have fun doing it.
You're the popular 'It-Girl' (or It-Boy) in your school or workplace. You're bright, cheerful, and oh all those boys following you around are just "really good friends! Like brothers or something!" You also do magic - like actual supernatural magic, so that's pretty cool.
You're bold, you're cold, and you're stunning. You don't like being confined by things like 'social graces' or 'gravity'. You're ready to spread your wings and take off, baby, so go get it! And if anyone gets in your way, well, they'll just be another stepping stone on your way to the top.
So what do you think? Was your horoscope what you wanted? Do you have your own horoscope to share? Let me know!
*Aww, no Terry or Byleth emojis yet?
"Enough prattle! I main my character because [insert reason], and my main alone is the most noble of mains while all the rest of the cast is for low-tier weeaboos!" you say. Yeah, well the thing about horoscopes, (like awful nicknames in high school) is that you never get to choose your own. So sit back and enjoy these most terrible horoscopes - What awful implications are upon you for your choice of main character? Let's find out!
You are a big friendly dope who doesn't know their own strength. This causes you to break a lot of things and people which confuses you because you don't see yourself as all that menacing. You don't have enemies - just rivals you haven't yet 'persuaded' to become friends! You own a threadbare anime body pillow, but you don't sleep with it because 'it just doesn't feel the same' anymore. Life changes, get used to it. You spend an inordinate amount of time sitting in your room posing in front of the mirror. You're a bit on the heavy side but, like a bear, you are difficult to fool and you also poop outdoors. You never pronounce 'Bowser'; it's always 'Boozer' or 'Bosser' or something dumb like that. You had a fling with some princess a while back and it may be possible you have some kids running around somewhere. You're a hoarder. You keep every toy, trinket, and tool you find because it 'might be useful someday'. You are also a terrible driver and have crashed your parents' vehicle at least once. You go around thinking you're pretty awesome because you have all the coolest new toys, but what you really want is to be able to connect with people. You were a jock in high school, went to a state college where you peaked, now you grow cannabis in your closet while reliving the glory days. You never actually played FFVII because it came out before you were born. You know what Cloud is saying in Japanese. So does everyone else, but you're the only one in your school who points it out every time. Let's be honest here: you don't know what to do with your life. You used to be on top of the world due to your natural gifts - but you didn't have to try very hard and now you've woken up 5 years later to find you're just average. You like flinging crap just to annoy others, both figuratively and literally. You don't care if others think you're big, ugly, or clumsy; you've got brute strength and you're surprisingly resistant to soap. You enjoy making others suffer, but you can't handle when others put you down. You have lots of hobbies, interests, and friends, but none of them really complement each other and you're not particularly adept at any one thing. Your fursona is a bird. Your fursona is a mammal. Your personality is basically that of a 1-year old German Shepherd puppy: You're big, fast, powerful, and you have no idea what to do with yourself or why everyone is yelling at you but you're having a great time! Oh Boy! You were that kid who did the Naruto run everywhere you went Freshman year of high school. You are thoughtful though indecisive to a fault. You don't know what you want to be when you grow up, but you know you don't really belong in this town. You married your high school sweetheart and you're morbidly codependent. When you're away from your soulmate you're basically useless. You're loyal to your friends and have a strong sense of justice. You charge headfirst into any conflict, even if it means you know you'll get wrecked by it. You can't keep your hands to yourself and that has led to some problems, hasn't it? You have diagnosed ADHD. You're quick witted but you're all over the place. You make a mess wherever you go. Your mom forced the school to give you an IEP, 504, and regularly pesters your teachers about your missing assignments while letting you do whatever you want at home. Adulthood will hit you hard. Nobody really knows who you are. You're a quiet introvert who tries to be like the other, more interesting kids, but for some reason nobody ever pays attention to you. You can't let anything go. Ever. You will follow someone to the ends of the Earth (or the blast zone). You're the crazy ex. You are hyper-focused and dedicated to a complete understanding of academic pursuits. However, you do have your limits and will resort to the easy-route when put under too much pressure. You used to main Sheik but you couldn't resist the allure of also having actual kill power. You don't have friends; you have accomplices. You give exactly zero F's. You're going to do what you want, when you want, and if anyone has a problem then you'll give them something to complain about. You give exactly 1 F: You're big, awkward, and asymmetrical, but you're nothing without your sense of style and far be it from anyone to put you down for it. You're a leech - you copy personalities from those around you and pretend to be someone you aren't. On the rare occasion someone has the misfortune of seeing your true self, they're overwhelmed by your clingy nature. You know a lot of neat party tricks to impress your friends, but you really want to impress that one girl and she's just not into you like that. #friendzoned You're the definition of a try-hard. Nobody will question your work ethic or your dedication to what you do... Your life choices are a different story. The more you get beat down, the harder you fight. You still listen to your emo albums and pine for the days when you were still new and relevant. You've faced more tragedy than most people your age. Rather than let it crush you, you draw on that experience to crush your enemies. You're still outclassed by your peers, but it just drives you to work harder. You're a younger sibling who feels like they need to act out to get the attention you think your older siblings get, but it just makes you come off as a skittish weirdo. You're the over achiever who feels the need to perform and impress everyone around them. You're constantly seeking approval from everyone by trying every hat and activity you can find. Everyone knows you and respects you, but nobody ever seems to pay attention to the things you destroy and the people you hurt on your path to universal recognition. You used to get excited for the interpretive dance segments of those dancing competition shows and you still sometimes practice in front of the mirror when absolutely nobody is watching. Your power animal is the majestic gazelle. Everyone is embarrassed when they go with you to restaurants and bars for one single reason: you don't tip. You keep everyone at a distance because you're afraid if they get close they might discover that you're actually just a soulless automaton; a big fake trying to pass themselves off as a person. You're the kind of person who is hard on their friends, but only because you want to see them grow better and stronger, even if it means they will eventually surpass you. You've been on a roller coaster ever since you were born: Rough childhood, but some natural talents pushed you to the front of your peers. Then your friends hit their stride and you never really stood out afterwards. At one point your buddies rented a big party bus to the city, but they forgot to invite you so you had to pay for an Uber to meet up with them. You stay up late watching infomercials and local access broadcast TV. You buy off-brands of everything. You have a tab at the local thrift shop. For a while, you used to tell people that duct tape cosplay outfits were "kinda my thing". You have a wide variety of interests that makes you seem like a complex, worldly individual, but in reality your experience and personality is 2-dimensional. You "win" online arguments with people who are actual experts in their fields by bombarding them with semi-relatable nonsense until they give up in frustration. Lucky number is, of course, 9. Your endlessly cheerful demeanor conceals myriad dark and sinister secrets. On the outside you're a model citizen. On the inside you fantasize about all the exciting ways you can 'disassemble' those around you - especially your friends. You would never actually act on those feelings though, right?... You rely exclusively on the abilities of others to get your work done for you, and cast them aside when they are no longer useful. You've done some things, man... Look, we've ALL done some things, but, like... You've REALLY done some things. Seen lots of things. Like in the dark, there were these lights and stuff? And oh! there was that music from somewhere. Went like, 'do Do do do Do do do' or whatever. You know ghosts are real? Here, take this with me. Whatever you do, DON'T jump on the trampoline a 4th time! You're a Mean Girl. You run your pack of B's and your friend zone of pathetic boys who see you as a goddess to do your biddings. Good for you. You were popular in high school, and now you have a pretty respectable career. You love dressing up, but you have no problem rolling up your frilly sleeves and putting someone in their place. You're a Boss B, and nobody really even talks about all the nights you used to spend at sketchy house parties back in college. You were some kid's first crush a long time ago, but then you moved to a different town - a quieter place where you got to explore and have fun outdoors. Some time later you moved back to civilization and while you do enjoy the finer things, you'll never lose your plucky, rough-and-tumble country attitude. You are the Baby Yoda of the family. That's about it. I guess that makes you the Yoda Yoda of the family. Small and adorable, but also wise and inexplicably ageless. Your popularity comes solely from your association with your social group of like-minded copies. You're an NPC in someone else's life. You bend over backwards for people you admire who don't appreciate you in return, but you're too hopeless and loyal to admit it to yourself. You and Link mains should seriously be friends. You also bend over backwards for people who don't appreciate you in return. You're painfully aware of that fact but you redirect that resentment and self-loathing toward crushing those who would oppose you. You're probably brooding in your room and listening to Panic! at the Disco on your AirPods right now, aren't you? You're a born leader and organizer, but you kinda have this thing where you like to make other people fight your battles for you, and you take all the credit. You'll be a good middle manager someday. You don't care about winning. You don't even care if anyone else is having a good time. In fact, wouldn't it be awesome if everyone else was miserable and suffering right now? Yeah let's make that happen. You don't 'get' why or how everyone else is having such a good time, but that doesn't mean you won't do your best to fit in! Is winning the objective? Is it about having fun? Eating? Puppies? Eating puppies? Who knows!? You'll just go along with what everyone else wants to do. You're not quick-witted but you study a lot and that's made you really good at keeping people away from you. You were an only child who coped with the desolate feelings of too much space by surrounding themselves with pretty things, stuffed animals, and loneliness. You may have heard others describe you as a 'sweaty try-hard' on more than one occasion, but dude, you know they're just jealous of your SICK gains, bro. You push yourself past your limits, even when that limit is the blast zone. Pain is just weakness leaving the body and an SD is only -2 so TIME FOR THAT 3-STOCK COMEBACK LETS GOOOOOOO! You've got some real talent over the others in your circle that only comes with age and experience, but you've also learned not to take yourself too seriously. You say 'whelp...' a lot while shrugging your shoulders. You consider the Dad Joke to be the pinnacle of human communication. Work hard. Train hard. Play hard. Pain is Temporary, Pride is Forever. The only Easy Day was Yesterday. OOOORAH! You got no problem sweeping the leg of a 12 year old. Did you hear the sound that kid's face made when it hit the mat? LOL! Let's go get some In-n-Out. I got some Natty Ice back at the dorm we can chill 'fore the Ultimate tourney later. Yeah, I meant Ultimate Frisbee, what did you mean? You were the kid who liked setting up intricate games and obstacle courses for your friends, but you'd take so long explaining the rules that everyone got bored and moved on before the game even started. You are destined to become a teacher someday. You also liked setting up games for your friends, but the games you made frequently consisted of 'eat this thing I found' or 'I dare you to breathe underwater'. People have learned not to play 'Truth or Dare' with you out of self preservation. You come off as aggressive on the outside, but inside you know that you're REALLY aggressive and you just wish everyone else could see this inner side of you, if only they weren't so busy rubbing the sand out of their eyes that you threw at them. You enjoy trying new things just to see what its like which sometimes gets you into trouble, but sometimes gives a good result. Every so often you'll take your shirt off for no real reason. You're a Libra. That's it. Even though you swore you'd never be like your Boomer parents, you're exactly like your Boomer parents. You kinda hate that about yourself, but you respect them, so it's not all that bad. You're a prankster. A class clown. You watched Home Alone as a kid and tried to do the blowtorch thing with the door handle and nearly burned your parents' house down. You were partly the reason they had to put warning labels on bath mats. You wear sweatpants because jeans are 'too restricting'. You challenge people to races in mundane activities. You often overshoot your goals and waste a ton of effort trying to get back to where you're supposed to be, but most people don't notice because at least you're quick about it. You intentionally put yourself in sketchy situations not because you're looking for trouble, but you genuinely enjoy the thrill of the fight: You're quick to the punch, but you're usually willing to lend your opponent a hand back up for Round 2. You make a really great wingman. This one time you were out and saw a Wario main picking up on someone questionable and was about to ask, "are you OK?" but thought better of it. I wonder what happened with those two? You hang out with an older crowd which is exciting, but sometimes makes for awkward exchanges. Like when they're reminiscing over classic games and they bring up playing Legend of Zelda on the Nintendo, and you try to relate with, "Oh yeah, my uncle had an N64. I LOVED Ocarina of Time!" and everyone else just chuckles condescendingly at your innocence. You would think that you and Ness mains would get along great with each other... If only you weren't desperately trying to sabotage one another because you know its only a matter of time before they reveal your dark secrets to the world. You're the reckless but fun uncle/aunt. You buy your neices/nephews inappropriate gifts like pocket knives and alcohol. You regale them with stories of drunken bar brawls and that one time in Tuscon when you went home with the wrong gender of Robin but, "It ended up being the wildest night of my life" and you remind them never to judge a book by the cover. You hobbies include doing Cross Fit and telling people you do Cross Fit. You describe yourself as "spiritual, but not religious". You have your own personal "Wellness Coach". Or at least your tell yourself you're going to do all these things right after the New Year drops in 6 months while you're currently halfway to making your medium pizza a personal size. You think fursonas are stupid and you aggressively try to convince anyone who will listen that the fur tail you bought at the Ren Faire is just a historically accurate prop and that they're stupid for trying to shoehorn your unique and complex identity into some undignified animal cosplay. The only people who understand you are other Yoshi mains because to everyone else you are, like Yoshi, completely unreadable. You're a middle child who feels the need to take things more seriously than your younger siblings, while avoiding the pathetic mistakes of your older ones. You're very competent at what you do, but its difficult for you to have fun doing it. You're the popular 'It-Girl' (or It-Boy) in your school or workplace. You're bright, cheerful, and oh all those boys following you around are just "really good friends! Like brothers or something!" You also do magic - like actual supernatural magic, so that's pretty cool. You're bold, you're cold, and you're stunning. You don't like being confined by things like 'social graces' or 'gravity'. You're ready to spread your wings and take off, baby, so go get it! And if anyone gets in your way, well, they'll just be another stepping stone on your way to the top.So what do you think? Was your horoscope what you wanted? Do you have your own horoscope to share? Let me know!
*Aww, no Terry or Byleth emojis yet?
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