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Phoenix Douchebag

Phoenix Douchebag

Smash Lord 25 From ZE BATH
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  • Phoenix Douchebag
    Im really happy that Smash has abandoned the "MUH gritty epic realism" from Brawl. I appreciated Melee's greater details on character design (even if models of characters like DK and Yoshi aged like Milk under the Sun) and i understand that to some,Smash 4 and Ultimate's arstyles look duller in comparison (even if i consider Ultimate's artstyle to be the best in the series, @ me if you dare), but i hated Brawl's murky 2008's real is brown stuff, every character that wasn't Snake or the TP cast looked really lousy on that artstyle, and the fact that they added TOON Link in that Smash entry of all things was a really dumb move in hindsight.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    I really regret deleting my accounts, Tord the Red Leader and Absolutely Not Speedwagon. Mostly because i love reading through my older posts and see what i used to think and say, and remind me of different days, seeing how much i have changed.

    But now in order to see my posts, i have to basically search for a needle in a haystack, and the only one at fault is me.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Every time i hear the Song "Toy Soldiers" by Martika, i can't help but think of that one weird-ass movie: Small Soldiers. You know, the one where G.I Joe knockoffs go haywire and ****.

    Turns out the movie was called Small Soldiers and NOT Toy Soldiers, which is the name of an unrelated 1991 Movie, which is also the name of an also unrelated video game from 2010, which is getting a modern re-release on Switch, PS4, Xbox On-what was i talking about again? eh.........

    Oh yeah! Did you know there's a Japanese Cover of the song by Martika herself?
    Phoenix Douchebag
    After seeing the absolute abomination that was the Leaked PPG CW script, im honestly so damn happy that Ed Edd N Eddy have fell from the face of the earth since 2009.

    People should know to let things go before they turn into................this.
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    Wario Wario Wario
    Wario Wario Wario
    EEnE had the perfect ending, one of the best finales in TV comedy history I'd argue.
    Wario Wario Wario
    Wario Wario Wario
    • There's a Harambe joke
    • "Triggered" used ironically unironically
    • Mojo Jojo is human, dies in the first few minutes
    • Bubbles has PTSD, this is treated as a joke.
    • They briefly set up a Cartoon Cartoons live action universe by implying Johnny Bravo exists in this world... I think? They mention a person or company named "Bravo" in passing, that's about it.
    • Utonium is an abusive father
    • Lots of swearing, but somehow no reference to "Whoopass Stew".
    • The Powerpuff Girls are banned from fighting crime in the prologue, this somehow stops all the supervillains
    • Caterpillar mind control
    • Buttercup threatens to murder a guy because he threw a smoothie at her
    • The scriptwriter has no sense of time, a gap between 1998 and 2013 is considered merely 9 years.
    • Buttercup threatens to "leak [Blossom's] nudes".
    • Joke about Elon Musk.
    • Bubbles calls Professor Utonium "daddy". Even as an adult.
    • A teenage Buttercup calls the classic PPG outfit "compulsory heterosexual"
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Warren Ellis explaning why he didn't played the Castlevania games despite adapting the series.
    Warren Ellis explaining why he didn't want to add Grant because he was a pirate and because of his name, while also adding a VIKING named Godbrand.
    Netflixvania fans explaining why Isaac is the best super mega deep character of all time.
    Netflixvania fans explaining why we need to know about the sex life of the characters.
    Netflixvania fans explaining why swearing and raunchy humor makes it mature.
    Netflixvania fans explaning why using the source material doesn't matter, while also getting angry at the sheer idea of using anything from the source material.
    Netflixvania fans explaning why a 1-second reference makes the adaptation faithful to the source material.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Toriyama: NOOOOOOOO GOKU IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A HERO STOP IDEALIZING HIM AND MAKING HIM BETTER AS A PERSON NO, NOOOOOOOOO.
    Also Toriyama: Rewrites Bardock from a sadistic brute who represents the natural bruality of the Saiyan race into a calm caring person who cares for his Son.
    Also Toriyama AGAIN: Rewrites Broly from an evil monster that only wants destruction to a sympathetic villain (plaese don't hurt my friends or i'll get le triggers)

    Am i the only one who sees a problem with this?
    • Like
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    Wigglerman
    Wigglerman
    Bad writing is bad writing, plain and simple. I love Dragon Ball as a whole but I despise when people try to tell me it's GOOD. It's enjoyable but it isn't of a high standard of story telling. That is to say, any real attempts at story telling ended after Dragon Ball. From Z onward it's action schlock.
    Pokelego999
    Pokelego999
    The bomb will detonate in 5 seconds!
    One entire seasons worth of fighting later
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Phoenix Douchebag
    The whole "NAMEK WILL EXPLODE IN 5 SECONDS" was the anime's fault, it overtook the Manga and they chose to pad it out to hell and back. In general the pacing of DBZ in the anime is a problem because of this (it's why Kai exists in the first place, to fix the original's snail pace)

    Also don't act as if this is only a problem with DBZ:
    Phoenix Douchebag
    The Virgin Bowsette:
    -Basically almost became a thing in Mario Odyssey , but was scrapped for good reason.
    -Most well known fan design looks out of place compared to the rest of Mario cast, both male and female or human or non-humanoid.
    -Is just an excuse for people to lewd a female character (as if there are not enough female Nintendo characters for that, poor Galaar)
    -Female Bowser was already a thing with Bowletta, but because it didn't looked like Peach no one gave a ****.

    THE CHAD Scripulous Fingore:
    -Never actually was supposed to be a Mario Enemy, but it should.
    -Fits really well with most of Mario's Rouge Gallery.
    -People started to put him in other Mario games as a mock up, looks really good.
    -An enemy like this has never been in a Mario game before.

    The superior Fan-made Mario character is clear.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    The Noid meets Crash is probably the weirdest crossover of this yea-

    "SEVEN DEADLY SINS CROSSES OVER WITH STRANGER THINGS"


    .......Nevermind.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    So how many bucks for betting that Smahboard's prank of this year will be related to Mario's "Death"
    Phoenix Douchebag
    YES.
    YES.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Now, i'm not an "Animu artstyle Hater" (i did enjoy Pyra being announced, best character DLC since Banjo) but i do wonder How the people that vehemently throw mud at "Anime JRPG Rep haters" and defend these characters would react if Fighter Pass was:

    -Tails.
    -Slime.
    -Banjo.
    -Crash.
    -Bandanna Dee.
    -Min Min.
    -Steve.
    -Geno.
    -Dixie Kong.
    • Like
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    View previous comments…
    Lamperouge
    Lamperouge
    I don't prefer anything about this over what we got.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Phoenix Douchebag
    You know i made this list as a 1-minute throwaway coment but i really start to feel like i would have preferred this over the actual DLC.
    R
    RetrogamerMax
    You know, I love Smash and have been playing the games since Melee's release, but I think Ultimate will be my last rodeo at least speculation wise.

    Nintendo's base roster picks in Smash 4 and Ultimate were all pretty good while the DLC lineup in either games wasn't that interesting as Mewtwo returning in Smash 4 and Banjo & Kazooie and Sephiroth in Ultimate were the only DLC fighters I wanted or was interested in thus far. I see more promotional picks in the DLC lineup than per say fan favorites. Not to say Joker, Hero, Terry or Steve ain't popular picks because they're, but because most of the DLC fighters and even some of the base game fighters are just there to promote their games which is why Nintendo and these 3rd party companies choose those certain characters.

    I don't have it in me to go another round of speculation during Smash 6 and even if I did, I wouldn't be around for DLC speculation for that game. Melee gave me Ganondorf, Mewtwo and Bowser. Brawl gave me Meta Knight and King Dedede. Smash 4 gave me Bowser Jr., Duck Hunt and gave me back Mewtwo. Ultimate gave me K. Rool, Ridley, Banjo & Kazooie and Sephiroth. There's a lot more characters I would love to see in Smash especially and most notably Goemon, Krystal and Dixie Kong, but I'm getting tired of waiting for certain characters I've wanted for so many years as I waited since Melee for K. Rool, Ridley and Banjo & Kazooie. When Smash 6 comes around, I just going to play it and not take part in any kind of Smash speculation anymore.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Im all for characters playing with the movesetes from their source material (Simon, Mega Man) but i draw the line when they bring major mechanics and try to implement complex mechanics like Magic Resources and Jesus Christ why did Sakurai had to put SF1 mechanics in Ryu and Ken there's a ****ing reason ALL SF games after 1 use a 6 button layout instead of 2 pressure sensitive buttons.

    and less said about Steve, the better.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    By next year, the Wii U will be a decade old. and this year Melee becomes Twenty Years old.
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    Pokelego999
    Pokelego999
    The Wii U is 9 years old?

    I feel old now.
    R
    RetrogamerMax
    I feel freaking old. I remember Melee was my first Smash game and I remember playing it around launch back in 2001. It was the first time I was introduce to franchises like Metroid, Star Fox, Kirby, Mother, F-Zero, Fire Emblem, ect. It blew my mind away. Before playing Melee, the only franchises I knew about or played games from in it were Mario, Zelda, Pokemon, and Donkey Kong. Everything else was new to me and all the characters from the other franchises excluding the 4 I mentioned above were strangers to me. Oh how the time flies.
    Mushroomguy12
    Mushroomguy12


    Me reading this post.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Merry Christmas you filthy animals.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    BlameitonJorge's Lost Media Iceberg video:

    -DEATH AUDIO
    -LIVE SUICIDE ON TV
    -CANIBALISM
    -Chris Farley as Shrek

    This is not me trying to pull a "Arson, Muder and Jaywalking" joke, it literally goes like that.

    Next time try to divide the "lost fiction like games and films and shows" Lost media and " Footage of real horrifying events not made public" Lost Media. It's really akward to bounce between one and the other like that.
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    DrCoeloCephalo
    DrCoeloCephalo
    "Lost Footage" would probably be a more appropriate phrase.
    D
    Deleted member
    I did know quite a bit on what was on that iceberg already, I'm big into that sort of stuff. Although the "medieval found footage" part really intrigued me a lot by how odd it was.

    For the record, a lot of icebergs are lot like that. It just gets messy, especially towards the end when it straight up becomes conspiracy crap, instead of factual stuff. Heck, even the original SM64 iceberg had the conspiracy theories right next to the real entries. I'm not a fan of that iceberg in particular, I prefer the ones that are actually true.
    Janx_uwu
    Janx_uwu
    Regardless of if they're real or not, I'm going to keep watching 'iceberg explained' videos, I kinda love them in a weird way. Though some are definitely better than others.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    The greatest tragedy in gaming is that we will never know the artist behind Castlevania X68k's Cover Art. That Cover Art has my favorite depiction of Simon ever. Even more so than Ultimate's version which is a very close second:


    I would pay some money to see this artist give us more Art of this particular Simon plus some other characters of the franchise.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    It's weird. Despite my having a huge dislike over Kojima's redhead Simon, it's the only redesign by Ayami Kojima that i actively dislike. The others i like just fine (Richter, Dracula) and others i find superior over the original (Alucard) but Simon? no thanks please stick to Classic Barbarian thanks. It's why im really happy about his implementation in Smash, best design of the newcomer roster in my opinion.
    KirbyWorshipper2465
    KirbyWorshipper2465
    I don't mind it, mainly because it's somehow better than the Lords of Shadow and Judgement (totally-not-Light-Yagami) versions.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Fans of Ecchi stuff like Senran Kagura basically use the "You need a very High IQ to understand Rick and Morty" copypasta Meme, but unironically.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    If the Melee intro's 3 characters are any indication, im pretty sure if F-Zero survived after FX we would have gotten Samurai Goroh in the roster. Ridley and Wolf got in, and the only reason i see Goroh beign stuck to AT is because his series died.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    The Wonder Boy games from Monster Land onwards feel like what a non-gamer would desribe old school games, beign this weird platformer-adventure hybrid. Im not saying this in a bad way though.

    I wish Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest aged as Gracefully as Wonder Boy III: The Dragon's Trap, that game shows even if it lacks depth in equipment and/or lenght you can still have a fun 8-bit Pseudo-Non-Linear adventure game.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    If the Netflix staff couldn't figure out a way to fit Grant into Castlevania 3's adaptation then i guess it's fair to say Maria Renard is pretty much gonna sit on the sidelines for the Rondo of Blood adaptation.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Oh god they are actually doing an adaptation, please stop Netflix let the thing die already.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Nathan Graves is lowkey the most underrated Castlevania protag ever. Both in powers and design.


    Not only is he one of the most versatile CV heroes out there using CARDS of all things to make some crazy spells, His design looks great and manages to distance itself from the barbaric look of the earlier Belmonts without looking unnecessarily effeminate gothic guy like many of Ayami Kojima's characters designs (who i always found to be an overrated artist as much as Amano) I always though Kazuko Fujihara was a more appropiate evolution of the Castlevania series arstyle in my opinion.

    If there was a Castlevania Warriors, he would be in my top Five Alongside Simon, Grant Dantasty, Frankenstien's Monster and Soma (i never said that i hated all of Ayami's characters's)
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Try guessing the name of the game with this clue:

    "I beat two giant Zombie Dragons who are damage sponges, and all i got was the ability to push crates"
    Megadoomer
    Megadoomer
    I feel like it's a Metroid-based Castlevania game - my first thought was Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night, but being able to push crates was given by a different boss, not the two giant dragons. (unless you're playing the Randomizer)
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Wrong, It's Castlevania: Circle of the Moon on the GBA. Zombie Dragon is the reason why i never beat this game years ago.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    I always like it when a "Scrappy" character gets a sudden popularity boost, either because of beign vindicated by history, growing a loyal fanbase, or even because of Memes.

    As someone who roots for the underdog, i hope the likes of Grant Danasty and the US Sports Team get this.
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    R
    RetrogamerMax
    I wish Goemon would gain a big supportive movement in the Smash community. Seeing Goemon become a fighter in Smash is my Ultimate dream and him getting a Mii costume is the first step. I really want him to get in some day so the Ganbare Goemon/Mystical Ninja franchise finally get's the recognition and attention it deserves in the west.
    KirbyWorshipper2465
    KirbyWorshipper2465
    I love Crash Team Racing Nitro-Fueled mainly because it did this for more obscure characters like Rilla Roo and Yaya Panda.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    The Virgin New Face Team:
    -Name literally stopped making sense after KOF 97.
    -Are actually a bunch of evil assholes who want to destroy humanity.
    -Only entered KOF out of jealousy because their concert got cucked by Iori Yagami.
    -Probably don't train that much and rely only on their Orochi strenght.
    -Have control over the elments, yet still lost to an angry school boi, Sernan Kagura, and the redhead who cucked them
    -Team Composed of a Shota, a Thot, and a White Haired weirdo.
    -Never entered a KOF tournament legally, stole somone else's invitation because they didn't knew KOF was about to begin.
    -Chris is Swede, you probably didn't knew becuase he instead looks like the "Virgin" guy.
    -Managed to revive their god, still lost.
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    Phoenix Douchebag
    Phoenix Douchebag
    THE CHAD US SPORTS TEAM:
    -Name perfectly describes them.
    -Are actually a bunch of cool dudes who just want to have fun.
    -Entered KOF to prove their strength.
    -Managed to have their own unique abilities by incorporating their sport hobbies into a fighting style.
    -Only lost their invitations because they were attacked unexpectedly.
    -Team Composed of 3 badass dudes who look like they could murder an entire street's worth of thugs.
    -Officially invited by the almighty Rugal Bernstein to KOF 94. Never returned because their invitations got stolen by cowards who coulnd't be arsed to enter appliations to KOF properly. (COUGH New Face Team COUGH K' Team COUGH)
    -All of them are proud to be American, and are the only team after KOF 94 to still have their nationality on their Team Name in recent years (aside of Team Korea)
    -Heavy D was the first Boxer in KOF history, and one of the few Shadow Boxers in Fighting games. (he also sports the CHAD Hairstyle)
    -Don't seem to be bitter about losing the KOF tournament at all.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    I always found it funny that Yuki, Kyo Kusanagi's girlfriend, a character from the company that gave us Mai Shiranui, Athena, Leona, Blue Mary, Shermie, Angel and others, is among the most plain looking character out of all:


    Shame she was only playable in SNK Gals Fighters, she would have been a fun addition to SNK Heroines (more so than Genderbent characters) and actual KOF characters as a "Fighting Clown" secret character.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    The US Sports Team should have been KOF mainstays, or at least been more common instead of beign relegated to just KOF 94 and 98. Their absence in XIII was a missed opportunity since a lot of old school SNK concepts came back in that game (Kyo going back to his old school KOF 94-95 moveset, Athena and Kensou using their Psycho Soldier outfits, and a lot of teams going to the more traditional groups like Terry, Andy and Joe) so bringing them back there would have been good.

    Doesn't help that a lot of Ash Saga character designs were god awful and try hard, i'll take's Brain Battler's "Dull" design over whatever the hell most of those characters brought to the table. Don't even get me started on XIV and Sylvia Paula whatever, or Discount Organization XIII Member.
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