Oey, you people aren't even waiting for me to officially start the next voting process! :X
... Which would be right now, but I really have something I need to say.
Jerry, it just occurred to me that you come off like you expect I'm a complete troll. Whether or not you think this is fine, but the way you responded me to it sounds like that's what you think I am. we're gonna need to talk more about this over AIM, but there are some things I think I can get away with saying in public, because one I think it will help you, and two, I think it will help the both of us.
... If I may have this time to say something, I'd really like to talk more about this.
Jerry, please please, please tell me that you know I'm not doing this only to troll you. :< I've said it a couple of times, either because you forget, or that I don't want you to forget, but either way I do the things I do because it's who I am; not because I want to make your life miserable. In fact, I'm trying to go about the opposite of that.
At no point in your time spent on the internet will you not come across people who will behave the way I do to get a reaction out of you, and say the things they do to learn more about you and make fun of you for it. The only reason I'm so obvious with my trolling is because there's really no hiding it. When there's something I believe in, I will voice my opinion and I will do everything in my power to make sure I'm heard, even when I'm ignored/silenced.
There may also come at times in the real world where you need to be sure of your opinions, and feeling insulted/taken advantage of only shows how insecure you really are. This is a bad thing, with strangers or people you trust, because whether on intention or not, people who you hold dear to can still hurt you too.
Of course, I'm pointing back at myself when I say that. I try to be patient with you, but I'd be lying to you if I said I did not at one point (or a couple) consider letting you go about all of this on your own and whether or fly or drown would be not of my concern. Sadly, that may be the case right now; not because you are a lost cause, but you of all people would know why I have lost faith in my friends. Being betrayed hurts so bad and after so many repeats it becomes difficult to know who to believe in. Just please remind
me every now and then that you can get around by showing interest in maintaining our friendship, and hopefully I'll be able to see it everytime that by just doing that I don't need to abandon you.
... At this point, I'm willing to try anything. So far, you've made progress. Still got a ways to go, but we'll figure it out with the process of elimination. Encouraging you works somewhat, reverse-psychology is a double-edged sword, and other methods of encouragement have their positive and negative effects. I'm only doing what I think will work best. The absolute best thing you could do is take interest in yourself; you need to have the fire burning inside of you, there's only so much air people around can blow before it falls onto the individual to ignite the flame.
Also, I think it was unfair of me to call you a depressed individual. You are no different than anybody else, who goes through struggles, right? I hope you can find it in you to forgive me, and I would understand if you had to hold it against me for a while, but just please don't ever get the two mixed up; and if it does come to the former that you don't need to suffer alone (just I may not be the best person to consult, obviously).
It just really infuriates me to see you talk like you're a helpless person, because you aren't. You're only creating that standard for yourself by saying things like that. I just hope that in your case, it's similar to mine where even if I put myself down I never stop trying until I cannot see a solution, and no way to improvise or nobody to look up to for suggestions/answers.
... I really need a bigger circle. The more people I can talk to, the more perspectives I'll be able to see...
And do me a favor. Hear me out:
I think it's pathetic that you have to get your inspiration from a near 18-year old
boy who isn't even sure of his methods, is more likely than not confused himself, has little going for him now, and if I believe I am pathetic, what does that make the things that I actually make better?
I know you have the talent, you're just for whatever reason not wanting to utilize it. I can say for a fact you have more promising traits right now than I could probably hope to get. You're going to graduate college soon, I'm working to start it... You've had not one, but two jobs, whereas my work experience is limited/non-existent due to the "plan" my parents have set up for me, and chances are I will not ever work for money until I'm in my mid-twenties. Freaking C'mon man~, sure I'm working for a positive future, but it's a huge gamble to put any kind of investment into me
now; why not do yourself a favor and channel all of that aspiration into yourself? ?_?
Oey, one of these days, I'll make something out of myself. Not for myself, but to make the time people put into me worth it in the end. I could not live with myself if I came all this way, with all the sacrifice people did, and threw that all away. Right now though, I want to be able to stand on my own two feet, me being spoiled has got to stop, or I will only end up taking advantage of good people...
... Having said all that, I'll start the next voting process now... I'll go for Excel this time. Chis seems to be having connectivity issues, and until he gets that resolved I want people who are active and can reply. Makes this thread look a bit more lively, ya know?