He wants me to become stronger by insulting me from time to time.
What!? Break up with this guy like now. That's horrible. Anyone deserves better than that. He violates any code of decency. Let me ask you this: Would you want to marry a man like him? If not, why in the world would you date one? It's a very similar relationship and one leads to the next. So don't waste your time in something that won't last--especially if it's just painful in the meanwhile.
It's really not good for me, it's actually destroying me...I just feel a bit like a broken doll.
Yeah, that shouldn't be the feeling you get from a relationship, as I said, this should end ASAP unless he makes a COMPLETE 180. Even then I'd be skeptical, as a lot of abusive husbands will make turnarounds only to keep beating their wives later on. When you keep forgiving them for it, they just learn to stop feeling bad about it. But he doesn't even seem to feel bad. Only reason he would is if you'd want to leave him because of it.
And yeah, I deserve better, I know this. I've probably said it a thousand times before, but it might be better if I break up with him. Yet, I can't seem to get together enough courage to do it. I should probably do it very slowly, like not visiting or calling him anymore till it gets better.
No...never. Okay, never end a relationship 'slowly'. This only amplifies the problem. Have a guy that's acting clingy and you want to 'give him the hint'? Tell him straight out. Because what happens when you pull back is that they try all the more to keep in touch so that they can find out why.
Same thing here. He's not going to 'get the picture' or even why you're breaking up with him for that matter if you do things slowly. You have to make your point clear and end it at a concrete time. You shouldn't continue to put up with this at all.
Just tell him that you ARE breaking up with him and the reasons for doing it. Don't be weak in telling him this, because he WILL be dating another girl at some point. Hopefully you want him to learn his lesson now as opposed to later, so he doesn't hurt any more girls in this way. Take it from a guy whose problem was being really clingy and 'suffocating'. The girls that broke up with me either did it slowly or all of a sudden--but both shared the trait of not articulating clearly what the problem was. It took me years to figure out what my issue was and deal with it. If they had told me earlier, maybe a lot of other girls wouldn't have felt the same thing in my relationships with them.
So you need to tell him straight out that how he's trying to 'strengthen' you is just hurting you, that you're NOT going to put up with it and that the relationship needs to end. At a later point in time, sure, things
could work out, but I wouldn't bet on it. I'd even make sure to not mention ANYTHING about there being a chance in the future. If it happens, it happens--but don't breed what could later become a wife beater. He needs to see the severity of his actions and that, while forgivable, are inexcusable.
If you care for him as a person and for his future, it would be in his best interest (as well as yours) to break up with him and tell him this. It's the only way he's going to get the message. Because if you keep putting up with it, it's telling him that it's okay to insult women to 'strengthen' them. He needs to understand that women
are weaker than men. I don't care what anyone says about me being sexist, that's just the reality. Emotionally and physically they tend to be weaker. Doesn't make them worse in any fashion, but that's just a reality we need to come to terms with. Or, if you prefer a different word, you could call them softer.
He needs to realize that you're not a man and that he shouldn't be trying to make you one. But instead to bear with you in your weakness when necessary--and also to appreciate it and let that soften him. Because a huge problem with men (and a huge reason why we need women) is that we're too hard. We aren't sensitive a lot of the time. And we need a woman to soften
us and help us realize that we do need to act with regards to people's feelings and that hurting them unnecessarily isn't good.
I hope you see that I'm putting men and women on an equal playing field here--both qualities are incredibly important.
But it is your duty to him as someone who I hope cares for him to tell him where he's going wrong. Otherwise he will continue in this until someone gives him the heads up. Please, at least for his sake, do this. I honestly think it would do wonders for him to realize that strength isn't the ultimate virtue.
EDIT: Oh, and in case flames are coming: Re-read through what I said. Just take a moment and re-read if you're about to tell me I'm sexist. Realize that I'm not saying men are better or whatever. I think this world would be all wars and violence without women. I feel that men and women are two halves of a whole, and that there is no better half. The man's half is undoubtedly stronger, but that doesn't make him better. Remember that I ended this rant with "strength isn't the ultimate virtue." Likewise, women shouldn't try to be strong "like a man" or anything like that, but instead to embrace their role of what is perceived as weakness. I don't believe it's real
weakness, as in something that's bad, but it's a good way to explain it. We just don't have a word for what it is. So please, if you disagree, that's one thing. But understand I'm not a sexist. I just see men and women as having very distinct--but both very important--roles that are not interchangeable.
I can relate, I just can't give a ton of advice...
, but no that isnt the bad new more like neutral news. I already new I wasnt gonna past but I almost did O_o. But the main reason I have this small video thing that I have to do for bio. I have to memorize lines but the thing is my face never changes expression and my voice is mono tone <_<. So its a bit hard for me to make any actig expressions what so ever.
