I've been feeling bitter since Monday.
Some major disappointing news about school was what started it, I shook it off, but it was tiring to walk 5 miles to school and 6 miles back (took long way home due to bad info on that being a 'shortcut'), I then went to smash with friends, I'm not bad at Brawl, in fact they say I'm pretty **** good, too bad it was a Melee crew meeting......
So Melee.......yeah....,
I've been doing a lot of solo training, which I've always felt was pointless, because the necessary pressure in human vs. human fights can never apply in human vs. cpu, so mistakes and misconceptions happen, but I did it anyway, because the crew leader designated himself my teacher and advised I do. I won no match, and there was no precise lesson to learn. After losing for like the 29th time, we did some doubles, and it's never a good feeling when you're forced to be the weakest link. It's a helpless feeling when you cannot stand on even ground with your friends--for no knowledgeable reason. So someone proposed to play Brawl, sick of sucking, I concur and we do a few doubles matches.
Crew leader gets mad and wants to go back to Melee, without any kind of reasoning.
The day went downhill from there. As a crew we should be having fun together, but I was having no fun in Melee. I was in no mental condition to play a game like Melee. I left pissed out of my mind, for a crew supposed to have fun together, some selfish decisions were made, and I learned nothing from my so called teacher. Hard to learn from your losses when you're not clear on what to learn from it. I stated this and got nothing productive in return.
I'm starting to hate this community--or at least the side of it I'm experiencing. When in genuine need and desire of help, instead getting lame jokes and fantastically helpless lectures by people who can't understand, because they were never down that road--apparently. It's not particularly like I'm asking for straight up directions on what to do, just some guidance to help me in the right direction, I can't play fast characters, my hands can't keep up, and that makes up most high/top tiers, so I decide to stick with the characters I've chosen to keep, from there, just a nudge in the right direction will do me good.
Apparently that's too much to ask from more experienced and skilled players.....
****'s pissing me off at home too, family is only a applicable in name, we barely spend time together, and there is so much negativity, I just don't interact with them very much, I spent hours reading general Melee guides before going to sleep, because nothing else cares, but those who long ago posted a summary of things.
Family is still broken, but having no influence, I sat down and read a bible with metal playing in my room. I'm calmer now, but my forehead still feels a bit tight.
I just need to take care of my school issues now.
Day by day.....