Ike:
I put my friends before myself- Yeah
I'm strong- Not really
I'm slow-... yeah
I wield I gigantic sword in one hand-... I wish
I'm very stoic (shows a lack of emotion)- Most certainly not
Wolf:
I shoot lazers- No
I howl with my Up-Taunt- No
I'm a ferocious fighter- Not really
Short?- yeah
Link:
I pull a bomb out of nowhere- No
I'm good with a sword- Maybe
I've got a boomerang- Nope
I don't say much- Yeah
Luigi:
I am in other people's shadows- Yeah
I am great at jumping- No
I am good in the air- No
I pull of a series of very odd taunts- No
Short?- Yeah
I am shy- Yeah
Zelda:
I use magic- Nope
I am very powerful- Nope
I am old- Nope
I'm a girl- Nope
This one definitely doesn't fit.
Sonic:
I'm fast- Nope
I'm not to strong- Yeah...
I am short- Yeah
I'm blue- Unless its personality-wise, no
I can roll into a ball- Nope
Poke'mon Trainer:
I have Poke'mon- Nope
This one doesn't fit XD
Lucario:
I have a spike in my chest- Nope
I have a very long reach- Nope
I use Aura- Nope
I'm not human- Pretty sure thats a no
I like to fight- Not really
This don't fit XD
Ice Climbers:
I have a faithful girlfriend (if thats his gf XD)- Nope

I use a hammer- Nope
I climb mountains- Nope
I catch condors- Nope
I like the cold- Yes actually
I'm short- Yes, but not nearly THAT short XD
Captain Falcon:
I can use an epic falcon punch: Nope =(
People think I'm useless but I'm not really- Yeah
Pit:
I'm annoying- I would like to think not
I think arrows are cool- Heck yes
I can fly- Nope =(
I have horrible voice acting- Maybe
I'm not seeing much of a fit with any of these lol.