Waterbook313
Smash Rookie
Id wake up to about twenty little different colored creatures in my bed and brush my teeth with one.
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Nanners for breakfast, lunch and dinner?Probably go ride a rhino in the jungle. Or minekarts.
Epic Post haha.My alarm clock goes off at 7:00 AM. I want to make it shut up as quickly as possible, so I use my jab, and within one millionth of a second, I have reached the sleep button and destroyed my alarm clock.
Time to get dressed. I suit up for my day and have my daily breakfast of cardboard boxes. Crap! I'm late for work! I need to travel 5 miles in 3 minutes! Wait, that's easy - I can just DACUS because I'm snake.
I get to work in under 5 seconds, and as I walk through the front door, I see my boss with paperwork in his hands. "You've been spending too much work time looking at Zero-suit Samus pornography. You're fired."
I then uTilt him to the moon.
He's not coming back anytime soon. I should go steal my paycheck for the month. I go his office, only to realize the door to it is locked. No problem, I surreptitiously use fTilt. It comes out so fast nobody even sees it, and since it does like 25% damage, the door flies open.
Wow, what a mess! I'll never find my paycheck under all this crap. I'll just go rob a bank instead.
I head towards the nearest bank, walk in, and walk up to the teller. Then I strangle her and crawl through that little opening in the glass. I plant C4 on the vault doors and move away before setting off the explosion. I run in and grab some sacks of cash, then proceed to the exit.
As I walk outside, I see tons and tons of cops aiming their pistols at me. I just duck and crawl away, since projectiles can't hit me while I'm ducking.
On my way home, I am intercepted by the legendary crime fighter Captain Falcon. Oh no, he has a gun! Good thing it's never loaded! After a few swings from him, I see him charging up his signature move, the FALCON PAAAWNCH, so I stop time, pull a grenade out of my pants, and pull the pin off it. Luckily, this takes exactly zero seconds to accomplish because I am apparently God. When the falcon punch hits me, the grenade explodes, killing captain falcon and only doing minor damage to myself.
I get home, stash the money, then plant bombs outside my house in case any more police come to get me. I'm Snake, so naturally, I can't be beaten.