Something bothering you?

[Merkuri]

Sharing your experiences about sex does not mean your friend should or that it indicates anything less of your friendship when they refuse to. I think you're reacting poorly.

I am not reacting poorly and do not misconstrue my argument. I am not saying that she is obligated to tell me anything and I am note even upset with her. I am simply disappointed. I am willing to her anything but she is not willing to return the sentiment. Whatever reason she has of not telling me is is inconsequential because it does not change the fact that she isn't willing to share intimate details with me, therefore making this a one-sided relationship.

 

[Luigitoilet]

She does not owe you anything. You aren't even going out with her, dude.

 

[Merkuri]

Geez, is no one reading what I am saying? I already said that I am not upset with her, I know that she isn't obligated to tell me anything. I am simply disappointed that our friendship isn't as strong as I thought it was, and I think it's unhealthy that I am willing to her everything and yet she isn't willing to do the same with me.

 

[Reizilla]

You're expecting things of her, she's not your girlfriend. If you can tell her things, more power to you. You have someone you can be open with. Perhaps you just don't hold anything in the same regard that she holds sexual experiences. Stop being ridiculous.
It doesn't make you more of a friend or her less of a friend.

Bottom line: So what? Stop crying.

 

[Merkuri]

You're expecting things of her, she's not your girlfriend. If you can tell her things, more power to you. You have someone you can be open with. Perhaps you just don't hold anything in the same regard that she holds sexual experiences. Stop being ridiculous.
It doesn't make you more of a friend or her less of a friend.

Bottom line: So what? Stop crying.

You are an idiot. It doesn't matter if she is my girlfriend or not, friends open to each other. She is not willing to do that to me. I'll try to explain this as siply as possible so that thick skull can understand.

We've already established that she isn't obligated to share her sexual experiences with me, we've also already established that I am not upset over this and I do not fault her because of it. The problem here is that the intimacy of the relationship is lop-sided on my part because there is nothing that I wouldn't be willing to tell her. There isn't anything wrong in what she is doing but the fact that she has decided not to share certain information with me means that she isn't entirely comfortable with me(she has shared this other people btw)

Where the problem arises is that this makes the relationship unbalanced. If I have no barriers with her and yet she has barriers with me then it means that I cannot expect things from her that she can expect from me and that in and of itself makes the relationship unhealthy. If you respond to this while making another dumb point then I'll just ignore you, don't reply to me unless you have something non-stupid to say.

I stopped whining about this a long time ago, I was just explaining how people were misunderstanding me.

 

[DTP]

Why don't you just talk to her about this. It'd do more good then trying to explain your little situation on a video game forum.

Also, if you'd rather not talk to her and simply distance yourself because you suddenly feel like the relationship is "unbalanced" then maybe you weren't great friends to begin with?

It also sounds like you're making things way more complicated then they have to be.

 

[Reizilla]

Seems to me like you're still crying. And you are, in fact, expecting things of her that she doesn't care to share. Tough ****, you a *****. Get better at life or deal with it.

 

[Merkuri]

Why don't you just talk to her about this. It'd do more good then trying to explain your little situation on a video game forum.

Also, if you'd rather not talk to her and simply distance yourself because you suddenly feel like the relationship is "unbalanced" then maybe you weren't great friends to begin with?

It also sounds like you're making things way more complicated then they have to be.

Yeah, that's my point Apperantly we're not as close as I thought we were. I would explain this to her but then she would notice that I am trying to push her away. I want to distance myself from her gradually and without it being a problem.

Relationships involving close friends and conflict is always complicated imo, I'm not making more out it than it is.

 

[DTP]

EDIT: Actually nvm. I decided I'd rather not get into this lol

 

[mzink*]

I think all people are trying to say is she has her own individual beliefs and reasons for doing things that may not be the same as yours. Just because you think or feel one way about something, doesn't mean she is going to. If she doesn't want to, she doesn't want to, she has her reasons. Maybe she doesn't define "close" as people who tell everything to one another, maybe she defines close as people who have utmost respect for one another. She probably still sees you as a close friend, she just may not see telling all her thoughts and feeling and experiences as a requirement of that.

 

[Luigitoilet]

Exactly. Being "best friends" is not a social contract where you have to spill your guts out about every intimate detail of your life to the other person. Just because you're willing to talk about some things doesn't mean this is a mutual obligation. It doesn't make her less of a friend, and pushing someone away based on that is a pretty ****ty thing to do.

 

[skekasaurus]

is this an adbot?

Hahaha, i'm not an adbot! Promise. Although why would you think I was?



People these days just need a chill pill, always making things seem like a bigger deal than they really are.

To the guy who wants his best friend to tell him her sex life:

If she doesn't wanna share every detail of her life, then so be it, its her choice. I have a best friend who lives on the other side of the country from where I live. We manage to stay really really close, and while she really does share a lot of things about her life with me, I could never expect her to tell me everything. Sometimes its a little difficult for some people to share intimate details, because its a personal topic. You can't expect her to tell you about her sex life! Just because you two are close doesn't mean she has to spill the beans about everything. Everyone is always gonna have a secret or two that they don't wanna talk about. My girlfriend who i've been with for 2 years now, there's a few things I'm sure that she hasn't shared with me, but in time I'm sure she will, and if not then so be it I can't really force her to. I have my share of secrets as well. So just chill yo, she'll either come around or she won't. You can't just dump her as a friend because of it. Besides, its just sex, that'd be a stupid thing of you to stop being friends with her over sex details!


Just saying!

 

[TigerWoods]

I have about 7 people I'd trust with anything on this planet, yet I still don't feel the need to tell them everything.

It isn't because I think that they are bad people... it's more or less that there are some issues I'd rather take on by myself.

Not everyone needs to know the color of your underwear you know. I really don't talk about sex with a lot of my best friends because it is an uncomfortable topic. I'm sure you understand that tons of people don't like spewing out information like that to ANYONE.


Oh and by the way Merkuri, you have to understand that not everyone thinks like you and that your reasoning is not the end-all. Yeah some of them are being abrasive, but it isn't like you haven't been either. Heck, I could go as far as to say that you became defensive first.

If you aren't going to make an attempt at listening to people's thoughts, then why would you share your own in a thread where people are listening to each other's thoughts? You seem only inclined to talk with people who completely agree with you. That kind of snobbery really bothers me.

 

[ranmaru]

Um that's kind of the point. You don't talk about your sexuality with people you don't know. It's something you'll only discuss to the people who you are close to and the people you care about. I thought that was the relationship that she and I shared, and now I'm not so sure.

Maybe she just isn't comfortable talking about sex. Period.

Just because you two are close doesn't mean she should share.

It's good that you are open, but maybe there are reasons holding her back... maybe she is insecure, or something. I don't really know, I'm just picking a random reason.

So have you both shared alot to each other but recently she didn't share much, and why do you expect her to share more?

I don't believe you should base your relationship on sharing such info.

What really ties you two together? That is what you must think. Maybe you both play smash alot... maybe you are study partners... always knew each other through family parties and such.

 

[skekasaurus]

I grow tired of discussing this guys female friend issue haha. He just needs to suck it up and stop being a whiner. The End!

So to steer things away, whats bothering me is that I have to work open to close tomorrow! FML. Also, I need to wash clothes but theres already stuff in them so now I gotta wait. Damn I got stuff to do today and I need some clean clothes. haha.

 

[Merkuri]

Exactly. Being "best friends" is not a social contract where you have to spill your guts out about every intimate detail of your life to the other person. Just because you're willing to talk about some things doesn't mean this is a mutual obligation. It doesn't make her less of a friend, and pushing someone away based on that is a pretty ****ty thing to do.

You're too simple minded. I'm pushing her away because the relationship is now lop-sided and not because she won't share her details with me. Become a better reader dude.

Hahaha, i'm not an adbot! Promise. Although why would you think I was?



People these days just need a chill pill, always making things seem like a bigger deal than they really are.

To the guy who wants his best friend to tell him her sex life:

If she doesn't wanna share every detail of her life, then so be it, its her choice. I have a best friend who lives on the other side of the country from where I live. We manage to stay really really close, and while she really does share a lot of things about her life with me, I could never expect her to tell me everything. Sometimes its a little difficult for some people to share intimate details, because its a personal topic. You can't expect her to tell you about her sex life! Just because you two are close doesn't mean she has to spill the beans about everything. Everyone is always gonna have a secret or two that they don't wanna talk about. My girlfriend who i've been with for 2 years now, there's a few things I'm sure that she hasn't shared with me, but in time I'm sure she will, and if not then so be it I can't really force her to. I have my share of secrets as well. So just chill yo, she'll either come around or she won't. You can't just dump her as a friend because of it. Besides, its just sex, that'd be a stupid thing of you to stop being friends with her over sex details!


Just saying!

I see your train of thought here but I don't think it's too applicable in this case. I for one am not the kind of guy who likes being close to people who aren't willing to open up with me. If she chooses to be secretive about then that's her choice, likewise it's my choice to distance myself from her. I don't think either of us are ''wrong'' here.

Secondly it skews the relationship(why does no one grasp this concept); it's analgous to having a friend with benefits. Where you're willing to perform oral sex on her but she is not willing to perform it on you. Who gives a **** if sucking genitals is a bigger deal to her than it is to me, it still makes the relationship uneven and unfair.

 

[1048576]

Did you tell her how you feel? Maybe she doesn't even know that you don't like her to keep more secrets than you.

 

[Luigitoilet]

You're too simple minded. I'm pushing her away because the relationship is now lop-sided and not because she won't share her details with me. Become a better reader dude.

Didn't you say the relationship is lop-sided because she won't talk to you about certain things? Isn't that what this whole discussion is about?

 

[Merkuri]

Oh and by the way Merkuri, you have to understand that not everyone thinks like you and that your reasoning is not the end-all. Yeah some of them are being abrasive, but it isn't like you haven't been either. Heck, I could go as far as to say that you became defensive first.

If you aren't going to make an attempt at listening to people's thoughts, then why would you share your own in a thread where people are listening to each other's thoughts? You seem only inclined to talk with people who completely agree with you. That kind of snobbery really bothers me.

I'm not sure where this came from. I've listened to other people's thoughts and beside that shun_gokotsu dummy I never told anyone that that they were wrong. I've simply been explaining my position because a lot of people misconstrued what I said.

Didn't you say the relationship is lop-sided because she won't talk to you about certain things? Isn't that what this whole discussion is about?

The relationship is lop-sided because she won't talk to me about certain things. But the problem isn't that she won't talk to me about certain things, the problem is the problems that come with the relationship being lopsided.

Did you tell her how you feel? Maybe she doesn't even know that you don't like her to keep more secrets than you.

I did and she said that she wasn't comfortable talking to me about this. Also I don't want to guilt her into opening up to me. She should open up to me because she wants to.

Anyways let's move on. This topic has run it's course.

 

[RATED]

You're too simple minded. I'm pushing her away because the relationship is now lop-sided and not because she won't share her details with me. Become a better reader dude.



I see your train of thought here but I don't think it's too applicable in this case. I for one am not the kind of guy who likes being close to people who aren't willing to open up with me. If she chooses to be secretive about then that's her choice, likewise it's my choice to distance myself from her. I don't think either of us are ''wrong'' here.

you are wrong. She's different than you, you just want her to be as "open minded" as you.

Maybe she's shy or insecurity? idk.

maybe there's something in her life or in her past that is the reason why she's not as open as you mr. open minded.

 

[Merkuri]

you are wrong. She's different than you, you just want her to be as "open minded" as you.

Maybe she's shy or insecurity? idk.

maybe there's something in her life or in her past that is the reason why she's not as open as you mr. open minded.

People on Smashboards amazing, haven't I already acknowledged that she may be different from me and that she isn't doing anything wrong?

Why did you even bother to quote me if you didn't read half of my post?

 

[Reizilla]

Because you're a *******.

Just let the guy ruin his own life, sheesh.

 

[Merkuri]

Because you're a *******.

Just let the guy ruin his own life, sheesh.

Lol u dumb.

It turns out that I have to lie, and claim that I got some results which I actually didn't for one of my projects tomorrow. It bothers me a bit because this is one of my major classes and as a senior I should be skilled enough so that I can do a project honestly.

 

[Luigitoilet]

Yeah, just drop this subject already.

 

[mastermoo420]

I am currently bothered by the fact that I am on page 340 and SWF tells me there's a page 341 that it won't let me go to; when I try, it leads me back to page 340.

 

[Reizilla]

that's because there are only (at the moment of my typing this) 128 pages. lrn2fortypostsperpage




8-page paper due tomorrow? I got this. But I am hungry T_T

 

[Pikaville]

Or maybe because at least a page worth of posts have been removed from this thread.

Who knows.

 

[Merkuri]

I hate myself for not getting more done over the weekend on my papers due today. Together there are about 32 pages. I should still be able to get it done on time but it'll be just barely. I could have spent that extra time doing something productive.

 

[Smooth Criminal]

that's because there are only (at the moment of my typing this) 128 pages. lrn2fortypostsperpage




8-page paper due tomorrow? I got this. But I am hungry T_T

Good luck, bro. XD Sounds like you need it.

Smooth Criminal

 

[Rychu]

You know, I just feel like a total ******* today, I don't feel like going out and meeting with anyone. Maybe it's the snow

 

[Chronodiver Lokii]

I was so happy we had a snowday!....And then i found out i have a crapton of chores and i still need to finish my english essay. Sighhhh.

 

[mzink*]

Lol well at least your snow day was productive.

I'm bothered by the fact that our new kitten just grabbed my pork chop and ran off with it.

 

[DTP]

^^Best cat, ever, imo

 

[Dre89]

You know what's been bothering me DTP, whether that's you in your pic or not. my curiousity has overcome me and I need to know.

 

[DTP]

You know what's been bothering me DTP, whether that's you in your pic or not. my curiousity has overcome me and I need to know.

lmao
No it's not me lol
You'd be surprised how many people have asked me that. I just thought they were joking though.

This is me.

Spoiler

And my best friend <3

 

[Dre89]

Thanks for that, finally that demon no longer haunts me.

You look nothing like what I imagined, then again I guess I imagined that you looked like that guy in your display picture.

 

[SuperBowser]

My university bothers me.

They published a mini blurb in the uni newspaper about me with a picture, my ranking in the year and how much money I won in a scholarship without ever telling me or asking my permission -_-. I don't like attention and prefer that stuff to be private. Only found out yesterday when someone commented in passing conversation what my exam marks must be. srsly wtf.

on the bright side the picture they used was ok.

 

[Merkuri]

I have to complete my (huge) senior independent project by Sunday, despite it being finals week. I'm going to have to create true magic.

 

[Reizilla]

I just wasted $75 because the post office won't next-day deliver things any more >_<

 

[1048576]

Someone in a position of authority over me is an idiot.